from the open book 4

Just as expected..

Knew I wasn't going to be consistent at all. Well it's not like I have that much time anyway so I think it's excusable. End of week 1 of 13 of Semester 1. I felt like I've learnt nothing... ~.~ Nothing's going in at all, ai.. Still haven't got into the rhythm of studying yet, which if I don't soon I'll regret it for the rest of my current second year life.. Friends are already advising me to start early, to start now. I'm trying, but there's so much distraction everywhere, things to worry about, things to deal with first. I found out that 1 min ( actually probably less than that) is all it takes to screw up 2nd year and waste 1 year of my life and money. Extremely sad and disapointed to hear that I'll be seeing some friends around in the same class as me, what a pity... Secretly might've been happy to hear that in 1st year, but now I know how it feels like and deeply feel sorry for them.. At least last time it took me more than 1 min to mess up, so it was more justifiable.. Well, hopefully regular practise is going to help me when that time comes. I'm never going to get a second chance anymore if things go wrong again.. That'll be a huge disappointment to me, to my family, to everyone >.< Friends, coursemates, hope things will go smoothly for you all. And whoever is thinking of coming over here to study, I can only tell you this:" Thinking of Edinburgh? Be prepared; Go to Glasgow instead"

from the open book 5

September 28

Black Sheep cont.

P.S. Heard that that Black Sheep did something horrible. Absolutely embarrassed to be related. Hopefully no one finds out or else I am never going back.. or most likely could never go back..

from the open book 3

August 15

Just some things that I miss from my home

I miss being mesmerized by the hundreds of fireflies around my house and backyard at night when there's an electrical outage
I miss how peaceful it is to watch those 'water insects' flying around in the morning after a rainy night
I miss watching the sunrise from my balcony and listening to birds chirping early in the morning
I miss my big christmas tree that is incomparable to the trees sold nowadays
I miss observing cute little birds bathing in the sand or puddles of water
I miss tv when there was far fewer channels but far more to watch
I miss the various fauna that could be found around my house
I miss having hobbies and having the time to pursue them
I miss all my pets who are now probably in a better place
I miss watching the beautiful sunset from my window
I miss decorating my house during cny and birthdays
I miss sitting down for dinner with my whole family
I miss gazing at the stars on a dark, cloudless night
I miss the two kingfishers that were always around
I miss spending quality time with my whole family
I miss building tents with chairs and blankets
I miss buying junkfood from the old van zai
I miss my old stupid computer games
I miss my old bed

...... and the list goes on...

I'm still a noob.. :(

I think I'm still a noob at blogging.. I'm just writing down whatever I was thinking at that time mah.. Does it have to always mean something to the readers? After seeing my friends' comment about my Black Sheep post, I'd rather they say nothing at all.. I know what I wrote is kinda confusing but I just want to tell what I think and know. I know it doesn't seem to make sense but I hope someone who reads it do understand.. Haiz.. :( Should I keep writing or should I just write them here instead and only write discernable blogs in there? Duno lah.. Maybe I'll just keep writing on both.. If they don't understand that is not my problem. I'm just sharing my thoughts and it goes to show further that most people don't understand me..

Am I a poser?

I feel like I'm not writing down my true thoughts and feelings. I feel like I'm only writing what I want to be seen, not what that is of more importance to me. I feel like I still like to keep my thoughts and feelings private. I feel like my mind is the safest place to lock away everything. I feel like there's a risk if I write everything out here. But I haven't told anyone of this place yet. So I think it is actually safe. If I had really wanted my own privacy, I could've just make this blog a private rather than a public blog, or I could just keep it safe in my laptop. But I didn't.

So should I still write everything out? Maybe not. Just in case..

It's not like I can express myself properly in words anyhow..

This'll just be like a keeping a tab on myself I guess..

from the open book

"Ba ba black sheep have you any wool?
Yes sir yes sir three bags full
One for my master
One for my dame
And one for the little boy who lives down the lane"

Have been talking to my mom recently and suddenly was reminded of this children's rhyme. Sounds innocent enough like every other children rhyme. However many believe that there's a more sinister meaning behind it. Some sources claim that the wool in the rhyme symbolises cotton which was a major agricultural produce many years ago, and the black sheep actually refers to African slaves that were used to harvest cotton from the cotton fields. Hence, they believe that this rhyme is a depiction of the oppresion of African slaves by the 'whites' and is considered racist.

There are some variations to the rhyme as well. E.g. " ..and none for the little boy who lives down the lane" which probably signifies the different social standards of bygone era.. Only the master and the dame are given wool by the black sheep but none for the little boy as only the master and dame can afford 'black sheep'..

Rhymes like this and so much more have been accused of bearing another meaning behind their innocent facade. E.g. Jack & Jill - the loss of virginity by young boys and girls, Ring Around The Roses - description of the scene of the Black Plague where thousands died.. Are people just being too sensitive to all these children rhymes? No matter what most of these children rhymes have very old origins and they're probably made up by kids of that age just for fun, or maybe for remembering warnings and advices by adults. So I don't think it comes of a surprise if they do have hidden meanings.. Nonetheless that doesn't mean that children nowadays should be banned from learning these. It's not like they know what they mean, but it's more of a way for them to learn the language in a fun way.

Anyway this is just a thought diversion from what I was thinking at that time about the Black Sheep.

The Black Sheep. I think most of us have them or we could be one of them (I'm probably one too).. If it's neither for you, then congratz. The Black Sheep come in different forms. Some are burdens, others are a pain. Some cause embarrasments, others are just like the plague..The Black Sheep. They're always there, they'll never disappear. You can't get rid of them, because that's not an option. You can't ignore them, because they're part of the flock..The Black Sheep. They'll never change, because they don't see the error of their ways or they don't want to see the error of their ways.

So what can we do? Just suck it up! >.< (or blog about it..)

from G!n@ m. B0otH$' DoMaiN:

Just an experiment..
Nothing much to do today (well of course I'm ignoring the fact that I've got loads of studying, bills to pay, forms to fill in, rooms to clean, dogs to train etc) so I figured I could try my hands on 'blogging' since it's 'all the rage' right now.. I wonder how many people are going to see this post, probably not that many anyways.. It's not like I got loads of interesting things to talk about :/

Technically I'm on holiday, but, doesn't feel like it at all. I'm totally not doing anything that I got planned ages ago, just spending my time doing nothing usually. Aih.. Feels like such a waste of my holiday. I'm most probably not going to KL in August as planned, there's just not enough time left. However I do feel that going to KL is more of a necessity rather than a desire, so I might actually still go. Hopefully if not I'll still get to see some of my friends in September before I leave for the UK..

Feels like a crappy day today.. Stupid bro wouldn't give me back my laptop, I couldn't believe that I actually fell asleep while waiting for him to be done with his game =.= Made me wake up at 2.30am and then totally couldn't sleep at all. My stuffy nose didn't help either.. I hate lying in bed awake knowing that an hour has just passed by again and again >.< It feels like such a waste of time for me to just lie there, not knowing what I should do. Should I just stay awake, do something, make myself tired then go back to sleep again? Or should I just lie there and wait until I get tired? I ended up reading 1 lecture note and forced myself to go back to sleep again. I can't stay awake the whole night, cos I know I would get a headache the next day and I won't be able to see clearly too, stupid contacts.. ~.~ So finally I ended up sleeping at around 4.30am or maybe it was 5am. Just when it started pouring outsides..

Woke up a few times before finally waking up sometime after 8, wasted my whole morning channel-surfing while waiting for my other bro to wake up, then went to help my mom out, came back and that's it for one day. Such an uneventful day =.= It's been like this quite a lot recently. At least I'll be going for badminton tomorrow, something different for a change..

Back to waiting for D.Gray-Man I suppose.. Ain't got anything worth writing about anyways :/
So, ciao~